so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
never play flip cup with pint glasses
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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