So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
