Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
