At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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