direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
