she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
