why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
