This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize