what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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