So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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