At least make sure they are 18
Why
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
