she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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