My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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