I think I just saw someone hide a body.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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