she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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