Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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