There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
