im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
