Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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