why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
