I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
