it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
