Church boner. Awkwardddd
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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