I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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