just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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