shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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