strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
