i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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