just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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