I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
there is glitter all over my balls
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