so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Who died my cat blue again?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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