I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
