I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
