Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
