I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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