I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
