Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
