I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
