Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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