handjob tips. give me some.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
