I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
