there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
