You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize