He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Text me some of your sweat
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
