Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
