Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
