I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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