Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
