I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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