everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
