Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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