She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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