oh fat girl friday strikes again...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My feet surprised me
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