you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
