either way he was missing a nipple.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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