are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
