Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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