mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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