covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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