so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
