i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize