wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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