Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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