But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
